When we talk about respected childbirth, each person can feel it or live it in a way, and that is that we could see it from many perspectives … the mother, the couple, the baby, the midwife, the assistant, the obstetrician …
Each person could give a different definition of what a respected birth is for her, and in the end although we could, in fact there are protocols with items that advocate for the respected birth, the experience, the skin of each one is different …
What comes out of my heart today is to talk to you about something more tangible, far from walking the infinite branches of protocols, science or evidence.
Today, like every year, removed by my own skin and the skin of my first child, I am inspired to talk about protection.
Protection to the mother, protection to the baby, because it is indisputable that we know that childbirth is not only about the merely physical, a uterus that pushes and a vagina that opens and a head that comes out. Childbirth has a lot to say about postpartum, about breastfeeding, about parenting…
Childbirth is the foundation upon which we are born. On which a baby is born, on which a mother is born, and on all of this, are written the later hours, looks, hormones, chemistry, love, bond, milk, emotions … And on all these concepts are created other bases, which in turn will have to do with psychomotricity, growth, relationships, behavior, sleep, health, and so on, to infinity.
We women are mammals and we know that in order to give birth, just like all other mammals, we need to feel safe, to trust, to be able to close our eyes wherever it is and to let ourselves go.
That’s all we need. It seems so simple and yet so complicated…
Of course there are complications, of course “thank goodness we have a supportive team”, of course sometimes things don’t flow… we’re not machines… But I’m not talking about interventions or protocols, I’m talking about FEELING.
We can be in an operating room and feel in peace. A caress from the nurse, a look, a whisper, a “you are doing very well”, a “do you need something?”, a smile, a “ask permission”, a low talk, etc., does not interfere in anything or interferes in everything and can be given on all occasions.
You don’t have to imagine a woman squatting in a river.
We can think of a delivery room and be able to get to that safe in the same way. It is “only” a human factor, a companion, a respect. To understand the magic of biology as more than a science.
To see how the baby takes hold of its mother and not to touch, simply to be there, to offer that look, that support for when it is necessary is to empower a woman who has become a mother and who in 48 hours will have to arrive home without support and will have to walk “alone”.
How different everything can become if you feel capable if you don’t feel it.
How can the picture change when maternity is something we are not afraid of or if, on the contrary, we do not believe in our ability to protect and care for our baby.
And yes, everything happens, at the very least, through labor and the first few hours afterward.