When we talk about respected childbirth, each person can feel it or live it in a different way, and we can see it from many perspectives: the mother, the partner, the baby, the midwife, the assistant, and the obstetrician.
Each person could give a different definition of what a respected birth is for her. In the end, although we could, in fact, there are protocols with items that advocate for a respected birth, the experience and the individual perception of each one is different.
What comes out of my heart today is to talk to you about something more tangible, far from walking the infinite words of protocols, science, or evidence.
Today, like every year, and moved by my own experience and that of my first child, I am inspired to talk about protection.
Protection for the mother, protection for the baby, because it is indisputable that we know that childbirth is not only about the merely physical, a uterus that pushes and a vagina that opens and a head that comes out. Childbirth is a lot more important for the postpartum period, for breastfeeding, and for parenting.
Childbirth is the foundation upon which we are born. On which a baby is born, on which a mother is born, and on the basis of all of this are written the later hours, looks, hormones, chemistry, love, bond, milk, and emotions. And from all these concepts, other bases are created, which in turn will have to do with psychomotricity, growth, relationships, behavior, sleep, health, and so on, to infinity.
We women are mammals, and we know that in order to give birth, just like all other mammals, we need to feel safe and trust, be able to close our eyes wherever it is, and let ourselves go.
That’s all we need. It seems so simple and yet so complicated.
Of course, when there are complications, of course, “thank goodness we have a supportive team,” and of course, sometimes things don’t flow because we are not machines. But I’m not talking about interventions or protocols; I am talking about FEELING.
We can be in an operating room and feel at peace. A caress from the nurse, a look, a whisper, a “you are doing very well,” a “Do you need something?”, a smile, a “ask permission,” a whispering does not interfere in anything or interfere in everything and can be given on all occasions.
You don’t have to imagine a woman squatting in a river.
We can think of a birth room and be able to get to that safe in the same way. It is “only” a human factor, a companion, and respect. To understand the magic of biology as more than a science.
To see how the baby takes hold of its mother and not to touch, simply to be there, to offer that look, that support, for when it is necessary is to empower a woman who has become a mother and who in 48 hours will have to arrive home without any help and will have to walk “alone.”
How different everything can become if you feel capable than when you don’t feel it.
How can the picture change when maternity is something we are not afraid of or if, on the contrary, we do not believe in our ability to protect and care for our baby?
And yes, everything happens, at the very least, through labor and in the first few hours afterward.