Does your breastfeeding baby or toddler play with your nipples when breastfeeding? At about 10 to 15 months, children improve their fine motor skills a lot, and they often start with what is called twiddling.
Now, every day, they become more skilled at holding a grip with their index finger and thumb. This is undoubtedly a great advance in their fine motor skills, but it can also be an uncomfortable nuisance for breastfeeding mothers.

At this point, babies begin with ‘twiddling’ the other nipple when breastfeeding, which is a very common behavior for older babies and toddlers. Twiddling the nipple is exactly that; they use their thumb and finger to hold, rub, and twist the mother’s other nipple. This is not very pleasant, and if you also add that they are practicing and don’t control their strength and that they can quickly have longer fingernails and easily scratch the nipple and areola, then it is easy to see that the conflict is served.

We don’t know very well why babies twiddle the nipple. But we know that from birth, they use their hands to massage the breast, as most other mammals do, and this is part of instinctive behavior that they use to achieve milk letdown. Thus, we could say that it’s more than likely that twiddling of the nipple is part of the same instinctual behavior but enhanced by the precision that fine motor skills give them.

Twiddling usually bothers mothers to the extreme, generating discomfort, agitation, or even pain. But can it be avoided?

Keep their hands busy

Maybe by giving them food or some other objects such as books or toys, giving them something else to hold works. But try to keep their free hand busy with something that is interesting to them. The same object or the same food won’t always do the trick, so be creative. If they are already familiar with what you’re going to give them, then they won’t hold it in their hands for long, and soon they will be twiddling again. Prepare many things that they still have to explore and that can distract their attention. If you use books, you can ask them to point to what you ask them while they are nursing so they stop twiddling with their fingers.

Songs where they use their hands

Sing or play songs where your child has to use their hands and is distracted enough not to remember to twiddle. As in the previous point, it will not always be enough to sing the same song; you will have to prepare a variety of options.

Offer another part of your body

Nipples have many nerve endings, and it can be extremely uncomfortable when your baby twists the nipple between their fingers. If there is another part of your body that you prefer to offer instead of your nipple, you can try that they touch your earlobe, your hair, or your belly button. Look out for what bothers you the least and try to see if your baby accepts the change.

Wear a nursing necklace

Nursing necklaces can be very helpful during this phase. But as we said in the previous point, you may need different necklaces with different shapes and textures to keep your baby’s attention and distract them. 

Make access to your opposite nipple difficult

This is easier in winter and cold temperatures than in summer because the more clothes you wear, the more difficult it is to access your nipple. If you add to this measure any of the previous ones, such as a nursing necklace, toys, or food, then this can become a double strategy to avoid twiddling.

Put your hand over your breast

This is a little bit like the previous point, as you are trying to make it as difficult as possible to access your other breast. But we can’t promise you that it won’t turn into a fight between the two of you because they are very persevering in their mission for twiddling. This technique, like the previous one, can be added to the others: give them a toy while you cover your breast or give them something to eat in their free hand and cover your breast.

Explain that you don’t like it

And, of course, explain to your child that it bothers you that they are twiddling with your nipple. It will be difficult for them to understand if they are very young because empathy does not begin to develop until they are between one and two years old. Until they have developed empathy, they may not care if you tell them that it hurts or bothers you. So if they keep doing it, they are not doing so to annoy you; they are just not ready to understand.

Some women consider weaning to avoid this behavior, and it is true that when they stop breastfeeding, they will be less in contact with your breasts, which reduces the chance of this to stop. But you should also know that “touching” the mother’s breasts is something they will probably want to do for a long time, and there is nothing wrong with it, as it is part (whether or not they have been breastfed) of the deep relationship they have with our breasts. If you want to wean and need support, you can ask our experts in the consultation channel in the LactApp app.

Undoubtedly, a lot of patience is needed because this stage usually unsettles most mothers and requires a double dose of patience. Try the above strategies to reduce or avoid this conflictive behavior.

And if you have more tricks, we would love to hear them in the comments!