Babies are born to breastfeed; they expect a breast, and biologically, they need it for at least their first year of life. They must breastfeed to survive, and there is no reason to stop. But there are some babies who, from one day to the other and usually between 8 months and a year old, stop breastfeeding, and then they don’t want to get close to the breast anymore: this is also called a nursing strike.

When the mother does not want to wean…

For mothers, it’s a terrible feeling when their baby refuses to breastfeed. And when you don’t want your baby to give up breastfeeding yet, and the idea of weaning doesn’t appeal to you, you obviously feel anxious and try to put your baby to the breast even more, offer more feeds, and insist that they nurse.

This complete desperation leads to being too insistent and can be counterproductive if you want your baby to start nursing again.

Let’s take one step at a time. First of all, if your baby refuses to breastfeed at this age, we can consider this reaction more like a ‘pause’ than the end of breastfeeding. Natural weaning usually occurs from the age of two and a half years onwards and never so early. Therefore, we can speak of a ‘nursing strike,’ and we need to find out why your baby has started a breastfeeding strike at this age.

The most common reasons why a baby goes on a nursing strike

Babies’ illness or discomfort

• Earache and pain in one or both ears: the sucking movement may be extremely painful, and babies may stop nursing to avoid the pain.
• Sore throat or mouth sores: any lesions in the mouth are painful when breastmilk, which is full of antibacterial components, gets on those sores. Babies feel an uncomfortable stinging sensation that makes them refuse to breastfeed.
• Blocked nose and nasal congestion: When babies breastfeed, they breathe at the same time. If their nose is blocked, they can’t do this and can’t nurse easily, which causes them to get desperate and may cause them to refuse the breast altogether.

All these situations, even when they are over, can still cause breast refusal and a nursing strike, as the baby, for fear of pain, does not even want to try to nurse again.

Situations related to the mother or family situation:

• When the mother screams, for example, because of a bite. Babies often react this way after a bite if the mother is frightened, screams, or makes an angry face. It seems impossible for such small babies to notice these things, but they do and react by avoiding the situation altogether.
• Back to work: Even separation from the mother, when she returns to work or for other reasons, can temporarily cause them to stop nursing. Babies can react with disapproval when their mother returns from work, and then they don’t want to breastfeed at all.
• Nipple confusion: this is another of the most common reasons why a baby may go into a nursing strike. It does not happen all the time as some babies can have any type of teat/nipple, and it won’t make a difference, but others may refuse to breastfeed after having a bottle teat or pacifier only once.

Therefore, first of all, you should see your pediatrician or healthcare professional and get your baby a complete check-up* to make sure that there is nothing physical that would make breastfeeding difficult. Also, think about your situation to understand if there have been any significant changes.

How can I get my baby to breastfeed again?

Well, once the situation of nursing strike or refusal has occurred, and if you don’t want to put an end to your breastfeeding journey, you try the following things.

As we said before, it is never advisable, under any circumstances, to force a baby or to try to win by letting them get hungry. You must continue to offer complementary solid food if your baby already has solids and pump or hand express breast milk and give it to your baby in any way you can. Never leave a baby without food because that will not make them go back to breastfeeding. Breastfeeding is an option for babies, not an obligation!

You can invite your baby to nurse, but the important thing is that your baby comes to your breast because they want to.

So, let’s focus on two things: closeness to your breast and trying to make your baby laugh.

There are several ‘seduction techniques’; you can try them all, choose one, or try and see which one makes you both feel better.

1. The bath strategy

Prepare the scene: soft light, warm water, background music (almost like a romantic date), and then get into the bathtub with your baby, not so that your baby breastfeeds (don’t be pushy), but so they ‘fall in love,’ enjoy, laugh, and really get delighted with the pleasure of playing with you. Try to make your baby laugh as much as you can.

A single session is usually not enough, so you will have to repeat this as many times as possible.

2. The bed strategy

Skin-to-skin contact between mother and baby is always a great resource in these situations. But it has to be fun! Tickling, kissing on the tummy, chasing each other, laughing, and all for the same purpose: enjoy as much as you can!

Many babies laugh so much that they forget about their nursing strike and throw themselves back at the breast. But be careful: sometimes they latch on for a few seconds, and then they refuse the breast again, so keep playing!

3. The sofa strategy

For this strategy, you should place your baby skin to skin, read stories, or play games. You should also create a warm and soft atmosphere, like when you are taking a relaxing bath, and resist the temptation to offer your breast.

You need to be very patient and repeat this as many times as you think is necessary. Nursing strikes can be long and require a LOT of patience, sometimes even lasting a month! Therefore, you need to persevere.

 

*There are other reasons why babies may refuse to breastfeed, from the mother’s new pregnancy to the way in which you offer complementary solid food.